Macedonia 2: Electric Boogaloo

WHAT'S IN A NAME??

So Greece and Macedonia (or "the country otherwise known as FYROM") can't decide on a mutually agreeable name. We recently spent sometime pondering this topic after a suggestion from a non-blogging acquiantance and came up with some ideas:

THE SUGGESTION: I say solve this by holding a bidding war to name the country. Macedonia could use the money and having the country name Fedexia or Microsoftia would be kind of cool!

J: I can't believe I hadn't thought of this free market solution to the Greek-Macedonia conflict before...

G: While Macedonia could definitely use the money, I don't know how its citizens would feel being called Fedexians. Or maybe Fedexovans? I wonder which one it would be.

S: $5 for naming it after me: ____stan.

W: Macedonia should advertise on eBay for naming rights! Hell, if there are idiots out there earning money for selling off their forehead or the name of their first born for advertising revenue, then I'm SURE a country--as podunk as it is (NOTE: no offense intended to our Macedonian/FYROMian brothers and sisters, we love ya! But you've got to admit it!)--could secure their financial future. Hey, this might be the answer: I'm thinking if Europe really wants to have a military force that can compete with the US and they're lacking the money for equipment, they can just sell ad space on uniforms and equipment on eBay. We could also use this to solve the national debt.

G: AWESOME idea! I love it! Can't you just picture the Nike swoosh on an army helmet. This is something the Balkans should definitely look into, it would help them generate revenue (to be used for other purposes besides the military of course). Hmm, I wonder if that is NATO compliant? My other latest idea is for the Bulgarians to create tourist t-shirts that say, "I went to Bulgaria and didn't get gunned down by the mafia, all I got was this lousy t-shirt". If the Bulgarian government isn't going to crack down further on the mafia there, maybe someone needs to start poking more fun at them to get them to do it.

W: Do you remember the EU postcards that depict the different cultural sterotypes of the member states? I say a whole line of t-shirts in this vain would be excellent. And since Bulgaria one day hopes to be a member, they should jump on the bandwagon and get their own t-shirt going. I wonder if they've updated the EU postcard to reflect the new member states? Another thought on the whole Greece/Macedonia/FYROM issue, I think both countries could be convinced that eBay would be a beneficial solution. If Macedonia agrees to a name that has nothing to do with Macedonia--like "Fill-in-your-name-here + don/stan" (Ex. Sallystan, Davidstan--then they get the profits of the ad revenue. But, if the party who wants "Macedonia" and pays the most for it on eBay wins in the bidding, then Greece gets the profits from any such ad revenue--they could sure as hell use it to offset the Olympics expense. Just a thought.

S: Everybody wins with the name Macedonia 2: Electric Boogaloo

Enough said!

Have toilet, will travel...

And you thought your drivers test was too demanding. If expanded to apply to soap and toilet paper, this could keep some Europeans off the road permanently.

No toilet? Forget about that dream car

Bangalore: If the Karnataka government implements a new proposal, a driving license won’t be enough for those who want to drive a car or ride a bike in the state. In addition you will need, hold your breath, a ‘toilet possession certificate’. The state government has come up with a novel idea to improve sanitation conditions. It proposes to make it mandatory for those who want to get their vehicles registered to have toilets in their houses. The proposal was prompted by the fact that very few households in rural areas, especially in northern Karnataka, have their own toilets. People in these parts still prefer answering nature's call in the open. The most glaring example of this is Chief Minister Dharam Singh's assembly constituency Jewargi where 99 per cent of the houses do not have toilets." This is not just the case with the poorer sections of society. Even the relatively affluent households are guilty on this count. Therefore, we thought that by making toilet possession a prerequisite for registering vehicles, we can get at least affluent people to adopt hygienic sanitary practices,” said Rural Development Minister Basavaraj Horatti.As per the proposed law, RTOs will register only those vehicles whose owners furnish ‘toilet possession certificates’ issued by the concerned gram panchayat.For below poverty line families, the state government is already providing an incentive of Rs 500 for constructing toilets.The government also plans to revive its earlier proposal for making toilet possession mandatory for those who wish to contest panchayat elections."I have already held discussions with the law minister and the advocate general about the feasibility of bringing in a legislation to implement these rules. We hope to introduce a bill to this effect during the next legislature session," Horatti added.
-- Mumbai Mirror

Pret-a-potty

So many other countries complain about the United States for one reason or another. We're too big. Too loud. We wear jeans. We're not classy because we don't sit in cafes sipping wine, reading Balzac, and smoking cigarettes. Well, guess what Europe. You've gone too far. We're glad you've taken our bathroom concerns to heart, but really. Is this necessary?

Black toilet paper is rolling in
We have now seen the lengths to which people will go to be indisputably chic: black toilet paper.
A home design innovation that is, ahem, already on a roll in Europe will be available in this country in January. Renova, a Portuguese paper producer, introduced black toilet paper a few months ago in cutting-edge hotels in Madrid; it is now on shelves at Monoprix, the Super Target of France.
"We are getting a lot of global feedback," says Jose Manuel Pinheiro, Renova's international brand manager. The company sells to consumers worldwide at http://www.wellbeingworld.com/. (The U.S. price is about $1.25 a roll if you buy a six-pack.)
The $6 billion world of toilet paper in the United States is currently a colorless business, thanks to regulations and consumer concern abut dyes. But colored toilet paper continues to be popular in Europe according to a spokeswoman for Procter & Gamble).
— Washington Post