The Thinking Man's Toilet Paper

That's right. Not only has political science invaded your bathroom, but now, so has logic.

Pret-a-Potty 2

Is black toilet paper paper a bit too goth for you? Need something a little bolder? Don't worry - as usual, fashion forward Europe has the answers you seek.

European toilet paper gets passionate

After launching black toilet paper last year, one of Europe’s biggest producers of household paper products has introduced a new red version for those wanting to inject more passion into their bathrooms.

Portugal’s Renova introduced its new line of red toilet paper - along with black paper handkerchiefs - at upscale stores in Austria, France, Germany, Portugal, Spain and the Netherlands last month and it plans to make the items available in other markets, including the US, over the coming months.

“It is a red that makes a huge impact, like a Ferrari,” Renova international brand manager Jose Manuel Pinheiro told AFP.

A company statement said the new shade of toilet paper would “target the most hip points in town,” adding that red “is the colour of our hearts, of passion, lust, fury, laughter, anger, love, fire.” The prime targets of the black paper handkerchiefs are “pop stars, fashion models, football players, film producers or Hollywood actors,” it added.

The company introduced novelty household products in the past, including toilet paper with moisturising lotion and multi-coloured paper towels. AFP

Macedonia 2: Electric Boogaloo

WHAT'S IN A NAME??

So Greece and Macedonia (or "the country otherwise known as FYROM") can't decide on a mutually agreeable name. We recently spent sometime pondering this topic after a suggestion from a non-blogging acquiantance and came up with some ideas:

THE SUGGESTION: I say solve this by holding a bidding war to name the country. Macedonia could use the money and having the country name Fedexia or Microsoftia would be kind of cool!

J: I can't believe I hadn't thought of this free market solution to the Greek-Macedonia conflict before...

G: While Macedonia could definitely use the money, I don't know how its citizens would feel being called Fedexians. Or maybe Fedexovans? I wonder which one it would be.

S: $5 for naming it after me: ____stan.

W: Macedonia should advertise on eBay for naming rights! Hell, if there are idiots out there earning money for selling off their forehead or the name of their first born for advertising revenue, then I'm SURE a country--as podunk as it is (NOTE: no offense intended to our Macedonian/FYROMian brothers and sisters, we love ya! But you've got to admit it!)--could secure their financial future. Hey, this might be the answer: I'm thinking if Europe really wants to have a military force that can compete with the US and they're lacking the money for equipment, they can just sell ad space on uniforms and equipment on eBay. We could also use this to solve the national debt.

G: AWESOME idea! I love it! Can't you just picture the Nike swoosh on an army helmet. This is something the Balkans should definitely look into, it would help them generate revenue (to be used for other purposes besides the military of course). Hmm, I wonder if that is NATO compliant? My other latest idea is for the Bulgarians to create tourist t-shirts that say, "I went to Bulgaria and didn't get gunned down by the mafia, all I got was this lousy t-shirt". If the Bulgarian government isn't going to crack down further on the mafia there, maybe someone needs to start poking more fun at them to get them to do it.

W: Do you remember the EU postcards that depict the different cultural sterotypes of the member states? I say a whole line of t-shirts in this vain would be excellent. And since Bulgaria one day hopes to be a member, they should jump on the bandwagon and get their own t-shirt going. I wonder if they've updated the EU postcard to reflect the new member states? Another thought on the whole Greece/Macedonia/FYROM issue, I think both countries could be convinced that eBay would be a beneficial solution. If Macedonia agrees to a name that has nothing to do with Macedonia--like "Fill-in-your-name-here + don/stan" (Ex. Sallystan, Davidstan--then they get the profits of the ad revenue. But, if the party who wants "Macedonia" and pays the most for it on eBay wins in the bidding, then Greece gets the profits from any such ad revenue--they could sure as hell use it to offset the Olympics expense. Just a thought.

S: Everybody wins with the name Macedonia 2: Electric Boogaloo

Enough said!

Have toilet, will travel...

And you thought your drivers test was too demanding. If expanded to apply to soap and toilet paper, this could keep some Europeans off the road permanently.

No toilet? Forget about that dream car

Bangalore: If the Karnataka government implements a new proposal, a driving license won’t be enough for those who want to drive a car or ride a bike in the state. In addition you will need, hold your breath, a ‘toilet possession certificate’. The state government has come up with a novel idea to improve sanitation conditions. It proposes to make it mandatory for those who want to get their vehicles registered to have toilets in their houses. The proposal was prompted by the fact that very few households in rural areas, especially in northern Karnataka, have their own toilets. People in these parts still prefer answering nature's call in the open. The most glaring example of this is Chief Minister Dharam Singh's assembly constituency Jewargi where 99 per cent of the houses do not have toilets." This is not just the case with the poorer sections of society. Even the relatively affluent households are guilty on this count. Therefore, we thought that by making toilet possession a prerequisite for registering vehicles, we can get at least affluent people to adopt hygienic sanitary practices,” said Rural Development Minister Basavaraj Horatti.As per the proposed law, RTOs will register only those vehicles whose owners furnish ‘toilet possession certificates’ issued by the concerned gram panchayat.For below poverty line families, the state government is already providing an incentive of Rs 500 for constructing toilets.The government also plans to revive its earlier proposal for making toilet possession mandatory for those who wish to contest panchayat elections."I have already held discussions with the law minister and the advocate general about the feasibility of bringing in a legislation to implement these rules. We hope to introduce a bill to this effect during the next legislature session," Horatti added.
-- Mumbai Mirror

Pret-a-potty

So many other countries complain about the United States for one reason or another. We're too big. Too loud. We wear jeans. We're not classy because we don't sit in cafes sipping wine, reading Balzac, and smoking cigarettes. Well, guess what Europe. You've gone too far. We're glad you've taken our bathroom concerns to heart, but really. Is this necessary?

Black toilet paper is rolling in
We have now seen the lengths to which people will go to be indisputably chic: black toilet paper.
A home design innovation that is, ahem, already on a roll in Europe will be available in this country in January. Renova, a Portuguese paper producer, introduced black toilet paper a few months ago in cutting-edge hotels in Madrid; it is now on shelves at Monoprix, the Super Target of France.
"We are getting a lot of global feedback," says Jose Manuel Pinheiro, Renova's international brand manager. The company sells to consumers worldwide at http://www.wellbeingworld.com/. (The U.S. price is about $1.25 a roll if you buy a six-pack.)
The $6 billion world of toilet paper in the United States is currently a colorless business, thanks to regulations and consumer concern abut dyes. But colored toilet paper continues to be popular in Europe according to a spokeswoman for Procter & Gamble).
— Washington Post

Paging UN Custodial Services...

A publishing house in Ukraine has started selling toilet paper with pictures of a number of world politicians, including Russian President Vladimir Putin, U.S. President George Bush, Belarussian President Aleksandr Lukashenko, British Prime Minister Tony Blair, U.S. State Secretary Condoleezza Rice and Russian businessman Boris Berezovsky, the Korrespondent.net website reported Monday. The Inspired B publishing house prepared three “editions” of the product for sale in Ukraine, Russia, the United States and Great Brtain. The retail price for the Russian and Ukrainian products was announced at about $0.30 per roll. The toilet paper is made in China by the Zhucheng Senke Paper-Making Company.

This would certainly make potty breaks far more interesting and, dare we suggest, educational.

Return of the Bolsheviks!!!

Bush's Potty Break!

How much do you want to bet that most international incidents are the result of cranky politicans who need potty breaks?




Reuters Says Bush Photo Not 'Malicious,' Reports Wide Interest
REUTERS/Rick Wilking
U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York Sept. 14, 2005.
By E&P StaffPublished: September 15, 2005 4:30 PM ET
NEW YORKWith confirmation today that an accidental photo of President Bush at the United Nations on Wednesday, writing a note to Secretary of State Condeezza Rice about a “bathroom break,” was indeed real, newspapers around the U.S. and abroad are now planning to run it widely. But many, it seems, will treat it as something more than a joke.A source at the Washington Post tells E&P that the paper is considering it for prominent play tomorrow morning, in the context that, at least in some minds, it raises questions about overall perception of the U.S. at the United Nations, right or wrong. Reuters reports extremely strong interest in the photo today.The fact is, according to Reuters -- and this has not been widely reported -- President Bush did indeed take a bathroom break after passing the note to Rice.This apparently raised some eyebrows around the room, because American representatives (among others) have a reputation for suddenly bolting, though normally for a far different reason than this latest one. Fair or not, the European press has already had a field day with the photo, often centering on the notion that Bush had to ask Rice for permission.The headline at the Web site for The Times of London, for example, reads: "Excuse me Condi, can I go to the bathroom?"Since the photo first appeared on the Web late yesterday, speculation has centered on whether the bathroom break reference was just a silly joke and who had written and passed the note.Gary Hershorn, news editor-photos for the Americas at Reuters, told E&P today that the photographer, Rick Wilking, informed him yesterday afternoon that he had observed Bush pass the note to Rice, and a little later, rise from his seat, leave the room, and then return.And while some have suggested that Wilking, a well-known photographer just back from taking some of the most gripping images in New Orleans, was out to embarrass the president, Hershorn said that the photojournalist had no idea what Bush was writing on the paper. Wilking assumed the president was taking notes on what some other official was saying.“Rick had no idea what he was shooting, or what Bush was writing,” Hershorn said. “If Rick knew what he was writing we'd have 25 pictures of this, not two.”The photo was taken at 12:08 p.m. and it was Hershorn, about three hours later, who took the trouble to examine the photo closely. It was only then that he noticed the writing and decided to put it on the wire after 4:00.The photo, as E&P observed Wednesday night in the first story about the incident, shows Bush scribbling in pencil on a note that already holds the words: "I think I may need a bathroom break? Is this possible." Wilking is a veteran Washington photographer who has long covered Bush campaigns and the White House.As for transmitting the photo, Hershorn says, "There was no malicious intent. That's not what we do."There's a simple explanation, even a serious one, for all of this, he adds. Bush, he points out, is not used to attending meetings at the U.N. and probably did not know what the protocol was for exiting a room and returning. His question to Rice was “proper” and not all that surprising, “asking someone with more experience there about protocol,” he said.Wilking told Gelf magazine today that he has not yet heard from the president—whom he says he knows very well—about the note. “I’m curious to know what the White House thinks,” Wilking said.